First, I should totally get a different picture because, oh my god, I don’t like seeing a giant, blown-up version of my face whenever I post a new blog.
Second, about this whole blog thing; I really, really don’t like to mention this but I tend to often have an existential crisis about once or twice a month. I’m almost certain that it has to do with the stark realization of, not only my own mortality, but the belief that there is no afterlife and there may very well be nothing significant I contribute to this world outside of people who know me directly. I have a pretty bothersome feeling of being forgotten after I die too.
I think that kind of makes me a good person, ya know? Like…I may not become a world leader or a ‘titan of industry’ but at least I tried to be good to the people I encountered while I was alive. Even if they don’t know me or meet me or remember me…I hope that my perceived goodness and kindness drove them to be better afterwards, even if it was a minor politeness they were able to express.
While I was writing this I figured out how to change the picture. So, there’s Ollie!
I don’t want anyone reading this to get like, weirdly concerned about my well-being. Trust me, I’m good. It’s just a thought that bounces in my head every once in a while and I’m expanding and expressing that thought here. I take a lot of solace in Carl Sagan’s words; “The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”
That feels good. It really does. Everything around me, from the polymers in my computer and my clothing, to the blood cells pumping throughout my body were once just hydrogen atoms bring fused in ancient and long dead stars. My own self-conscience and awareness is the vast and immeasurable universe understanding and contemplating itself. That’s usually what pulls me from the existential crises I get.
That’s all I’ve got for now. So long as there’s the internet we’re all immortal.